Sometimes I get the urge to haphazardly toss a bunch of my clothes and toiletries into a suitcase, tossing it into the back of my care, and just go somewhere.
Photo by Image Catalog via Flickr.
I never know where I want to go, which I suppose is apart of the allure. Would I go to the beaches of Southern California? The mountains of New Mexico? The rainy forests of Washington state?
I never actually run because I have obligations here at home. I have bills to pay, and the never ending climb for financial stability. I have family here who are going through a lot of earth shatter changes in their lives that I need to be present for. I have my relationship with Austin, as well, and if I want it to be healthy long term I have to be here for him.
My fuzzy daydreams of wander off stem from the shiny idea of having no responsibilities. How nice would it feel not having to worry about where I am in the “grand scheme” of society. If I’m on the road no one would have time to look down on me for dropping out of college or put up with my bad attitude and potty mouth.
As exciting as the idea of wandering off can seem, I always end up remembering a few things. 1) I would have no way to financially support my journey 2) my friends and family would miss me and 3) I would miss them, too.
At the end of the day I need to stay put and deal with the obstacles in my life. Running away from my problems isn’t a way to live and, quite frankly, my “problems” aren’t even that bad. They’re pretty normal considering the fact that I’m only 21 and am still trying to get the hang of being a responsible adult. I need to calm down and trust that with time I’ll grow into the person I want to be.