Social Media is an interesting tool because it’s a way see how your friends feel about certain topics that they may not have confessed to you otherwise. Many of these confessions tend to circle around relationship statuses and life problems. As I watch my friends through social media I notice patterns of what they post. I see what’s important to them, what they want from life, and how they believe the world works.
Image by Valentina Mabilia via Flickr.
One idea that I see floating among my friends and online acquaintances is the concept of romantic relationships solving all of life’s problems. I can’t shake the impression that some people feel that once they find a person to focus on romantically that their life will instantly become better and their feelings are always great, and nothing else matters in the world.
I’m not going to deny that being in a relationship can potentially improve your quality of life but it’s by no means the solution to everything. If you go into a relationship depressed or anxious or stressed I promise you these things will not change. First of all, it’s not your partner’s responsibility to fix all of your issues. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a person to expect them to solve all of YOUR problems.
Second on all, when you’re in a relationship you’re still going to be you. The includes all of the good and the bad. If someone goes into a relationship feeling like no one will like them they will most likely go about that relationship feeling like they don’t deserve the person they have. It’s essentially the same issue that manifests in a different way.
Another point I’d like people to keep in mind is that your relationship status does not define your worth. I see people online who express that they feel crumby because they feel they can’t attract a significant other. They feel like their relationship experience, or lack thereof, reflects their own character. I don’t know how to convince people that this simply isn’t the case!
I’m really hoping this post doesn’t fall of deaf ears but at least I’ve put my thoughts on the matter out there. As hard as it is to not focus on a non-existent significant other, I feel like people’s energy would be better spend doing positive things, like being creative, focusing on school, doing volunteer work or building stronger relationships with friends. Even when a person is in a relationship they should keep doing these things because these are activities and accomplishments that define you, not your relationship.